The paper needs to be focused on STRENGTH-BASED in general instead of deficit so e.g. “mental health services are not free” is deficit.
Some other feedback that needs to be fixed:
“In the exploration of REASON as an asset the essay made reference to the ABCD (model) however the relevance of such is largely underdeveloped and lacks in demonstrating the application of the model effectively. ” – basically link and demonstrate better the application of ABCD model
“and incorrect and underdeveloped attempts of applying the ABCD model and no relevance on drawing and building on strengths rather assuming that the young people attending YMCA are from families with financial problems and parents to be used to give the children a “chance to make positive changes”. ” – same as above and should be mainly strength-based instead of deficit.
“The engagement with the attachment theory demonstrates some limited understanding of the theory. However the attachment theory explores how relationships are formed and the nature of such relationships and it is unclear how it will “help the parent understand life experiences of youth and children”. The further attempt to apply the theory in relation to the YMCA is underdeveloped and does not meet the strengths-based focus of the study as it states that it will “make the changes needed”. ” – needs to be fixed according to the feedback
“The recommendations made are relevant to the ABCD model connecting assets however it tends to address issues. ” – should be strength-based instead of addressing issues.
“The essay does not demonstrate any critical reflection and or development in relation to professionalism, knowledge and or skills in applying the theoretical perspectives. ” – critical reflection focus
Lastly, please highlight all the correction for revision purpose. Much appreciated.